Repeat 
after me...
I, state your name, do solemnly swear to not be fooled by high priced commercials and flashing lights. I promise never to wake up at four in the morning unless I want to... or unless my house is on fire or something. I will never be treated like a child by an asshole with a drinking problem who beats his wife simply because he has more stripes on his sleeve than I do. I will not be told to shut up! I WILL NOT SHUT UP! I will spout my mouth off as loud as I want, whenever I want because it is my right, as an American to do so! I will always remember that dissent is the greatest form of patriotism. I promise to question authority as often as possible and not just blindly do what I am told to do. I promise to sit on my ass, drink a forty, and play Grand Theft Auto until my thumbs bleed simply because I feel like it. I AM A CIVILIAN OF ONE!!!
There, now you're ready. Do you feel ready? Well you'd better be because they're coming for you. Keep your guard up and remember what you've learned. If you haven't learned anything from me... that's okay. You just go back to watching your Nascar race and drinking your Pabst Blue Ribbon and I'll go back to wondering how you managed to operate a computer all by yourself. GO CIVILIAN!