T
he Sales Pitch
Do you really want to deal with people like this for the next four years of your life. If you answered yes... please leave my website.
Have you ever bought a car from a dealership and had to waste your time talking to one of those slimy, high strung individuals with a plaid JC Penny suit and a bad comb over who'd sell his own mother to make commission? They're full of crap! They smell like Hai Karate and hair gel and they'll sell you a fully loaded piece of garbage that is scheduled to break down on you right after it's four month warranty expires. They're salesmen people! That's their job! What's my point?
If you are ever curious, or naive, or flat out stupid enough to walk into a military recruiter's office, please keep this one fact in mind. THEY'RE SALESMEN PEOPLE!!! It's their job to tell you exactly what you want to hear. They work off of commission just like that sleazy waste of oxygen at the car dealership, only their sales go toward a promotion and a step up in rank for themselves. So the more of you that they can convince to sign their lives away to the government... the more powerful they become. That's why you see these Jehovah's Witness wannabe's outside of your hometown mall and in your high school cafeteria. Only they're worse than car salesmen. If you buy a car and it breaks down, so what. Life goes on. But if you or your son or daughter buy into the sales pitch thrown at them by these recruiters and end up going to war so that their recruiter can become a staff Sergeant. For a lot of them, life does not go on!
It should be against the law for these vultures to solicit in front of places where your children hang out. They have offices and they can advertise like every other business out there. So why is it legal for them to be in you or your child's school? There should be a law that states that if you're approached by a recruiter, you have the right to beat them mercilessly with a blunt object. Hey, we need our own department of defense against these terrorists of american youth. See, I can sling ridiculous accusations around too.
Don't believe the hype! My recruiter showed me videos that made Black Hawk Down look weak! "You can do that," they told me. So I signed up. And why not? An impressionable young person will believe almost anything if you sell it well enough. What did I end up doing for four years you ask? I cleaned more toilets, floors, and windows than my high school janitor ever did!
These mongoloids must be stopped! So here's what I want you to do. The next time a recruiter is stalking victims in your high school cafeteria or roaming around your local mall in their monkey suits looking like the worlds biggest ass. I want you to look them right in the eyes, give them the finger and say, "Not a chance!" If you're lucky they'll lose their temper and beat you senseless. Sure that sounds rough but think of the negative publicity the military will receive when one of their finest is found roid raging in a shopping mall. Plus, with the settlement you'll receive from the government you'll be able to pay your way through college without ever enlisting!